I’m Lazy

I’m lazy and it’s saving me $1.4 M I L L I O N dollars.

When people say ‘Man you crazy, why do you ride your bike to work every day?‘ I respond ‘I’m lazy

When people ask ‘Triple B, my good man, why in god’s green earth did you cut your power bill in half? Use your electric furnace, and skip that load of firewood. And did I hear you take cold showers!‘ I respond ‘Ye, I could, but I’m lazy‘.

When people look at me with that one raised eyebrow expression, that The Rock made famous, and with quivering voice tell me they could never survive with less than 8 gigs of data ‘How do you do it? they exclaim! Well, you guessed it ‘I’m Lazy‘.

I’m Lazy, but I’m not crazy.

I’m Lazy, but I’m Not Crazy

Why do I say that? I work as hard as the next guy, I sweat when it’s needed, I put the bar on my shoulders, plant my feet and scream as I raise it. I grew up on a farm, spent long hours picking rocks, chasing cattle, stringing fence, packing firewood till dark. And I appreciate a honest dollar for a honest days work. I get it. But still…. I’m lazy.

The homestead

Sure, I could drive a jacked up 4×4 Dodge 3500 with 35’s and a sled deck on it to work every day, spend 15 minutes talking to guys at work about how I got to spend 6 hours sledding (and 6 hours fixing my sled) on my day off. Sure I’d be 25 lbs heavier, and wondering if I have enough gas in my tank to make to pay day, but I could.

Certainly, I could skip having a fireside picnic on the mountain after filling my truck with 3 cords of wood, and miss watching the kids eat smores with sweat dripping from my brow. Every 2 months I’d fall over when the power bill came in, and raise my voice in disgust at the rates we’re being charged. And then put my work boots on and head off to work, complaining about the gas prices and traffic the whole way.

Work Smarter, or Think Harder?

I hear guys at work tell me every day to work smarter not harder. How else are you going to make it 65 without a broken back, stiff knees, and all your digits? Well they are right. But they are going about it all wrong. They are thinking firmly inside of the box. I decided to flip that paradigm on its head, put it between my knees and PILEDRIVE IT INTO SUBMISSION.

The ideas of old -their time is up

As soon as I figured out that buying, driving and maintaining a second car was costing me over $100,000 every ten years ad infinitum, I realized that meant I had to work long enough to save $100,000. Save, not earn. Crap, I could barely save $2000 a year. At this rate I’d work until I died, or worse, the government gave me a handout at 65 years of age.

Then I realized having a laissez faire attitude toward my cell bill was costing me another year of work. I soon realized that in this case, in order to work smart -I had to be lazy. I could not stand the thought of working while my kids were home, of having to go to washroom next to my boss one more time (does he know I’m wafting his way? Because I know he’s timing the efficiency of my digestive system), just so I could put on another 25 lbs and grow slowly bitter as every bill crossed my table.

Simply put, I did not want to work that much.

Pundits vs Triple B

By riding my bike I could cut ~20 years off my working career. Cell bill was another year, and so on. By being a laggard I was off to a good start. By loafing I’d actually be coasting, being a slacker would get me there faster.

By getting rid of these things, that did not add value to my life, I need oh, about $600,000 to retire. According to the ever incorrect pundits we need 2 million to retire. As follows, I’m saving myself 1.4 million dollars, all the pollution that would entail, and the back pain thusly earned -by my noble, languid ways.

Gold’s value is only realized once its been forcibly removed from its everlasting birthplace; the merit of doing nothing is born when you bury the ingrained ideas of old.

So, I’m proud to say in this single, most crucial, regard -I’M LAZY!-

“Those who would give up … Liberty, to purchase a little … Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.”

Benjamin Franklin

Boxing Photo by Photo by Martin Kníže on Unsplash

8 Replies to “I’m Lazy”

  1. Yes! This is one of the reasons why we’re a one-vehicle household. My husband needs to drive to work because it’s too long to reasonable bike and there is no mass transit options, however, I don’t need a second vehicle here when I can reasonably access anything I need walking or on a bike when necessary. It’s an added cost I don’t need to deal with… So I don’t 🙂

  2. Taking a step back and analyzing what you need for transportation is a huge step towards being able to retire in 5 to 10 years. That step follows closely behind choosing an appropriate place to live that’s within 15 km of everything you do. So happy to see you using your smarts!

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